Things That Annoy Me When Reading Novels

I’ve been reading a lot of novels lately (oh hai, lurgy). And I enjoy the escapism but often find myself exclaiming WHAT WHY WHAT NO. Some of the things that cause that…

1. Drippy protagonists who want nothing other than a relationship, or put up with a terrible relationship for a long time.
2. First kiss to engagement in less than 2 pages.
3. Woman gives up entire life to be with dude (you’re leaving your ailing grandmother who brought you up? really?!)
4. Woman drops large amount of weight effortlessly (apparently after years of struggle, which of course is before the story starts).
5. Woman has drifted along for years, suddenly an entrepreneur and is wildly successful.
6. Complete life overhaul in less time than the shelf life of a pot of mayo.
7. Everyone falls in love all at once, after years of dysfunctional relationships.
8. Career woman is the villain.
9. Techie (always a dude) is the villain.